There are just some days when I don’t know why I even get out of bed. I think I could have been Garfield in another life, cuz this is me Monday to Friday…


I’ve been going to the same fast food drive thru for a couple of years now. I love the staff who greet me each morning as I roll through for my morning green tea. Truth be known, they love me too, probably because I’m the perfect customer with exceptional drive thru etiquette. Miss Manners would be proud.

Wow! I had no idea there was even a book about this, mainly because it’s not chocolate, traveling or about me (thanks Google Images!) Note: I have excellent manners in situations where I’m buying something… like tea, clothes, vacations… but not necessarily so in some other social situations. Just sayin’.

That’s right, each morning when I get to the speaker, I already know what I’m getting (even on mornings when I get more than my green tea). I don’t just sit there for several minutes staring at the big board pondering what to get, no sir, I know when I leave my driveway what I’m getting. Plus, when I get to the payment window I have my money counted and ready to go. I’m not one of those annoying people who sit and sift through their wallets, pockets, purses, or car change drawers looking for the money to pay while holding up everyone behind them. And my manners when ordering are impeccable.  “Good morning, may I please have a large green tea – black- and an english muffin toasted with butter?” And when I pull up to pay and get my stuff, I greet them with an almost nauseating (but honest) cheerful attitude each and every day. Yep, they love me. And even mornings when I’m full of piss and vinegar and don’t want to be going to work, I am happy to see my little drive thru people and it makes the morning worthwhile.

In fact, many mornings, I often get my tea for free. They. Love. Me. Well, sometimes it seems that it’s one employee more so than the others that love me. He’s the tall glass of hot chocolate who I assumed was a ‘kid’.. you know… maybe 20 or 21, turns out he’s 30 and I’m soon discovering that anyone younger than me is someone I refer to as a “kid”. God I’m old. He tells me that whenever he’s working I don’t have to pay for my tea. Awwww… how sweet. The way I see it, I’m taking him up on the offer because hey, there aren’t many perks in this world anymore and this place can afford to give me free tea… thank-you-very-much.

Sooooo, yesterday, my better half had the day off and sent me to work with a homemade toasted egg sandwich with cheese. Seeing I was running slightly late, I opted to eat it on my way to work. (I’m sure you see where this is going…)

It was a delicious fried egg sandwich. Like, unreal. So good I wished I had another one.

So, as I rolled through the drive thru, I see the tall glass of hot chocolate and notice he’s acting somewhat different. My tea was free, but he’s not looking at me and he’s nodding his head like he’s in a hurry and can’t wait until I drive away. Weird. I pulled away wondering if perhaps he was nodding to me because there was someone talking to him on his headset.

I was wrong.

Or so I think.

I got all the way to work and realized as I did my final makeup check before getting out of the car that oh my god – I had a small piece of egg stuck just above my lip.

I was like….


No wonder he could barely look at me. I shuddered as I reflected back to every facial expression, smile and word I said to the drive thru people – all the while having egg on my face. That explains why the girl who handed me my tea kinda giggled when I took it from her.  She was probably watching the little egg piece wiggle with every thing I said. “Nice morning, isn’t it… oh, thanks so much… have a great day!”  All the while she was snickering to herself. Grrrreaaaat.

Here is my personal version of the egg on my face while sitting in my car at the drive thru. (note: this drawing is not accurate since my hair has significantly more body in this picture than in person, the egg is enlarged to show detail, and my car does in fact have seats.)

Ughhhhh… I wanted to go crawl somewhere.. like back to bed, or in a hole, or under the car. Could have been worse, my shirt could have been wide open. Oh wait, that happened last month when I was walking around at Second Cup. (That whole saga can be read here.)

I figure it will be the end of my free tea privileges. Surely having breakfast on one’s face eliminates them from the free tea program. I’m thinking that getting tea is like driving… it’s a privilege, not a right and clearly, I must’ve broken some laws or at the very least lost many demerit points for this whole scene.

The moral of the story is “check your face BEFORE greeting any member of society, not AFTER.”

I guess I have to go find a bunch of change so I have the right amount for tomorrow’s tea…. I’m guessing I’ll be paying from here on out.