Egg on my face (uhhh… literally)

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There are just some days when I don’t know why I even get out of bed. I think I could have been Garfield in another life, cuz this is me Monday to Friday…


I’ve been going to the same fast food drive thru for a couple of years now. I love the staff who greet me each morning as I roll through for my morning green tea. Truth be known, they love me too, probably because I’m the perfect customer with exceptional drive thru etiquette. Miss Manners would be proud.

Wow! I had no idea there was even a book about this, mainly because it’s not chocolate, traveling or about me (thanks Google Images!) Note: I have excellent manners in situations where I’m buying something… like tea, clothes, vacations… but not necessarily so in some other social situations. Just sayin’.

That’s right, each morning when I get to the speaker, I already know what I’m getting (even on mornings when I get more than my green tea). I don’t just sit there for several minutes staring at the big board pondering what to get, no sir, I know when I leave my driveway what I’m getting. Plus, when I get to the payment window I have my money counted and ready to go. I’m not one of those annoying people who sit and sift through their wallets, pockets, purses, or car change drawers looking for the money to pay while holding up everyone behind them. And my manners when ordering are impeccable.  “Good morning, may I please have a large green tea – black- and an english muffin toasted with butter?” And when I pull up to pay and get my stuff, I greet them with an almost nauseating (but honest) cheerful attitude each and every day. Yep, they love me. And even mornings when I’m full of piss and vinegar and don’t want to be going to work, I am happy to see my little drive thru people and it makes the morning worthwhile.

In fact, many mornings, I often get my tea for free. They. Love. Me. Well, sometimes it seems that it’s one employee more so than the others that love me. He’s the tall glass of hot chocolate who I assumed was a ‘kid’.. you know… maybe 20 or 21, turns out he’s 30 and I’m soon discovering that anyone younger than me is someone I refer to as a “kid”. God I’m old. He tells me that whenever he’s working I don’t have to pay for my tea. Awwww… how sweet. The way I see it, I’m taking him up on the offer because hey, there aren’t many perks in this world anymore and this place can afford to give me free tea… thank-you-very-much.

Sooooo, yesterday, my better half had the day off and sent me to work with a homemade toasted egg sandwich with cheese. Seeing I was running slightly late, I opted to eat it on my way to work. (I’m sure you see where this is going…)

It was a delicious fried egg sandwich. Like, unreal. So good I wished I had another one.

So, as I rolled through the drive thru, I see the tall glass of hot chocolate and notice he’s acting somewhat different. My tea was free, but he’s not looking at me and he’s nodding his head like he’s in a hurry and can’t wait until I drive away. Weird. I pulled away wondering if perhaps he was nodding to me because there was someone talking to him on his headset.

I was wrong.

Or so I think.

I got all the way to work and realized as I did my final makeup check before getting out of the car that oh my god – I had a small piece of egg stuck just above my lip.

I was like….


No wonder he could barely look at me. I shuddered as I reflected back to every facial expression, smile and word I said to the drive thru people – all the while having egg on my face. That explains why the girl who handed me my tea kinda giggled when I took it from her.  She was probably watching the little egg piece wiggle with every thing I said. “Nice morning, isn’t it… oh, thanks so much… have a great day!”  All the while she was snickering to herself. Grrrreaaaat.

Here is my personal version of the egg on my face while sitting in my car at the drive thru. (note: this drawing is not accurate since my hair has significantly more body in this picture than in person, the egg is enlarged to show detail, and my car does in fact have seats.)

Ughhhhh… I wanted to go crawl somewhere.. like back to bed, or in a hole, or under the car. Could have been worse, my shirt could have been wide open. Oh wait, that happened last month when I was walking around at Second Cup. (That whole saga can be read here.)

I figure it will be the end of my free tea privileges. Surely having breakfast on one’s face eliminates them from the free tea program. I’m thinking that getting tea is like driving… it’s a privilege, not a right and clearly, I must’ve broken some laws or at the very least lost many demerit points for this whole scene.

The moral of the story is “check your face BEFORE greeting any member of society, not AFTER.”

I guess I have to go find a bunch of change so I have the right amount for tomorrow’s tea…. I’m guessing I’ll be paying from here on out.



Pay It Forward, my ass…


Life is funny sometimes. If my life were a comic strip I would be The Born Loser, I swear. Nothing goes as planned for me. As is the case in my “pay it forward” good intention today.

Apparently it's a whole dollar to rent a cart these days, not the 25 cents I remember.

First off, this actually started last week when I went to the grocery store and after getting out of my car, an older gentleman offers me his cart. Now ordinarily I’d assume that he just wanted me to take his cart back to the store for him so he wouldn’t have to do it himself. But at this particular store, where you have to pay to use a cart, his gesture was more like a gift. Never having used a cart at this store, and being stuck in the 80s like I am, I offered him the quarter for the cart. He smiled and gestured that I could keep it. Imagine my embarrassment upon realizing he must’ve thought I was mentally challenged in offering a quarter when in fact it took a dollar to use the cart. Oops.

After shopping I returned the cart to the store, retrieved the shiny dollar coin and considered passing it onto the next customer. One problem: there was no one in sight and there was no way I was going to stand around like some fool waiting to offer someone a dollar for their cart rental. I decided I’d hold off and “pay it forward” another time. Afterall, there’s no immediate “time” rule on paying it forward, is there?

That brings me to today. I head over to the local Tim Horton’s to get myself a donut. I’m not particularly fond of their donuts on any given occasion, but for some reason today I had the hankering for one. There are two entrances to this particular Tim’s. One from the main street, and one from an adjacent street at the back. Seeing as I was closer to the back one, that’s the route I took.

Neighborhood Tim's location.. quite possibly now on my shit list.

The drive thru is lined up and while I patiently wait my turn, not one person was letting me into the line. One, two, then three, four, five cars inch by not letting me in. Finally a lady waves me in. Seeing that she was super nice, I knew this was my chance to pay it forward. After all, I’d done this particular thing once before about 3 years ago when a man had let me into the line in much the same way at another location.

I roll up to the window and tell the cashier that I’d like to pay for the lady behind me. She checks her order and says, “She ordered two coffees.” I said, “That’s fine, she was nice enough to let me in the line when not one other person would.” The cashier smiled, told me it was $4 or so for the lady’s items and I paid her. I pull away and have to wait to turn onto the busy street so I watch in my rearview mirror as the unsuspecting lady approaches the window. She hands the cashier a $5 bill, gets her change and her coffee and drives off. No moment of happiness in finding out her coffees were already paid for, nothing!

Yup. That sums it up.

I can only assume that the cashier didn’t tell the lady about my good gesture at all and let her pay for the items that I also paid for in my gesture of goodwill, likely pocketing either my money or the other lady’s.

Talk about backfire.  Obviously this whole “pay it forward” concept is highly overrated. Or at least it is at Tim’s. I’ll pay it forward again, just not there…