It’s so interesting to hear a child reason out things. Amy (remember, she’s only 5) came to me this morning and asked me if I had a compass. Wondering what on earth she’s conjuring up this time, I advised her that sadly, I do not have a compass.

Amy: “Well, can you go buy one? I need to use one right away.”

Me: looking at her quizzically. “What do you need a compass for?”

Amy: “To find out which way is North. Like, the North Pole.”

Me: “Oh, I see.”

It was then she described to me an elaborate plan that involved a compass, a stick of some sort, and something about the North Pole. She said something about being able to find a stick that leads to the North Pole and you can take it home (not sure if she meant the stick or the actual north pole). I know. I didn’t get it either. But she was convinced this was a legitimate plot and assured me that it made sense. I made a confused face.

Amy: “It will work Janet.”

Me: “I have no doubt.” I replied, having no idea what exactly was going to work – the idea, the stick, or the compass, but who was I to judge? I could be sitting in the midst of a genius kid here. She has a great sense of imagination and creativity. She’s turned paper towel rolls into snorkels, cereal boxes into TVs, Smarties boxes into remote controls, and the list goes on. She’s turned empty pop bottles into water grenades (not sure why she went with weapons, but whatever), and I’m hoping and praying that she will find a way to upcycle my Toyota into a Mercedes convertible one of these days. Hey, a girl can dream.

Amy: “I think it would probably be better if we just flew in an airplane there.”

Me: “Now you are talking.” I replied, because now she was making sense and I could maybe understand this idea.

Amy: “Or we could drive there.”

Me: “Hmmm… I don’t think so, it would take an awful long time and what if we came across some polar bears?”

Amy: eyes wide, “Well, we’d just shave off their fur and turn them into meat for supper.”

Now my eyes were wide. Say what? Skin an animal and make it supper??? I don’t think so.

Me: “Uhhhh… I don’t think I could hurt an animal like that, could you?”

Amy: (thinking for a moment) “Well, Dad could wrestle the polar bears and then he could turn them into supper.”

Me: (envisioning that for a moment and liking the idea of her dad wrestling… perhaps shirtless, oil on his chest, muscles bulging… oh wait, getting off topic here) “Hmmmm… not sure about that. I don’t think I like this idea of killing the polar bears. Couldn’t we just eat Cheerios?”

Amy: rather loudly and seemingly quite frustrated at my lack of intelligence, “Well Janet, it could take us a hundred million days to drive to the North Pole and we’d have to eat SOMETHING with protein you know!!”

And there you have it. A feasible reason to eat a polar bear, at least according to Amy.

My thoughts exactly, little bear. My thoughts exactly.

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