I have a looooong list of pet peeves…. far too many to ever list on here (well maybe…). But every day this week, one major one keeps reoccurring for me.

It’s the dreaded toilet paper rolls here at work. Like most people’s place of work, we also have that budget type, one-ply, feels like a cheese grater kind of toilet paper which is actually my Pet Peeve # 29  and is really a separate issue in and of itself.

That's about right...

Today’s pet peeve is about the actual roll holder. It’s on so tight that the actual paper roll can’t turn and each day I tell the custodian about it and each day I think it will be fixed. Silly me. And apparently I’m not smart enough to check it before I pee.

I go in there, I pull on the little leaf of paper but it breaks off in one shred. Another pull, another shred. Keep in mind that I am hovering over the toilet like a police helicopter over a crime scene (this is a public washroom and god knows what is on the seat, so there’s no way in hell I’m gonna sit all the way down to pee. And for you guys out there, of course I’m peeing because girls don’t poop), I’m also teetering in a pair of high heels and I only have the use of one hand because the other hand is trying to hold my pants so they don’t fall down to the germ ridden floor, all while I wrestle with this toilet paper roll.

My patience lasts only microseconds. By the time I pull the second shred of paper I’ve already lost my cool and then start angrily clawing at the roll. This produces nothing but toilet paper confetti which falls to the floor and frustrates me even further. For cryin’ out loud. I can’t even grasp one full square, just itty bitty pieces. My blood pressure is rising. “Whoever put this in place is gonna hear from me, let me tell you.” I mutter under my breath. 

My roll looked pretty much like this one when I was done today...

I dig my nails into the roll, scraping off what shards I can. So help me if I have to pull the whole roll off of the wall, cuz I’m mad enough to pull the entire metal holder with it.

At last, I scrape off enough bits and pieces to complete the job at hand. Figures though, in the five minutes I’ve spent fighting with the toilet paper roll, I discovered it was no longer needed, I already air dried.

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